Thankful

This afternoon was rough with Ryne.  He was so exhausted yet wanted to fight sleep with every ounce of his being.  It is amazing how far babies will go to fight sleep.  I hate to admit it, but I got frustrated.  I laid him down and had to walk away a few times and collect myself.  After about an hour and a half I got him down.  Success!  Mother guilt is like none other.  I am now feeling guilty for being frustrated.  I wasn't upset with Ryne, just frustrated at the situation which escalated because I was frustrated with myself for being frustrated.  I know this is all normal (doesn't make it any easier).  So I got to thinking that I should write a list of the many many things I am thankful for on this Thanksgiving Eve.

• Ryne
• I was told by two obgyns that becoming pregnant would be difficult, so I had prepared myself for a long road, but the universe had other plans.  We were blessed with Ryne sooner than expected and we were so elated with the news.  I am so thankful I had an uneventful pregnancy and fairly uneventful delivery with a healthy baby boy.  I am thankful for the opportunity to be a mother, especially to Ryne.  I have never wanted anything more than to be a mother.  I remember being a very little girl caring for my baby dolls and dreaming of the day I got to do it for real.  Motherhood is much harder than I expected, but brings me more joy and fulfillment than I could have ever imagined.  A bad day with Ryne is better than any day without Ryne.  
• Matthew
• Matt is truly my partner.  He believes in me and supports me.  I have loved Matt since I met him, but being a parent along side him has deepened my love for him.  He is an amazing father to our little guy.  He is gentle, oh so patient with Ryne, and game to help in anyway needed.  Matt keeps me balanced.  Without him I would go crazy.  I am so thankful for finding the love of my life and soul mate.
•   Parents
• Matt and I are lucky to have parents that love us and our son.  Both sets of Ryne's grandparents have been very supportive of our little family during our pregnancy and after Ryne's birth.  Both sets of grandparents have helped us out when in a bind.  Don't know what we would do with out them.  So glad we live close(and hopeful my parents will become north siders soon and be even closer). I am thankful that Ryne has 2 sets of amazing grandparents.
• Cousins
• I am thankful for all of my cousins.  I am an only child and they are the closest things I had to siblings growing up.  Its so true the saying that cousins are your first friends.
• I am also thankful for Ryne's cousins that are close to him in age.  I hope he has as much fun as I did with my cousins growing up.  I am especially thankful for activity day once a week with Peggy, Tanner, Logan, and Grandma Sparks(sometimes Grandpa Sparks too).  This has given Ryne the chance to bond with his cousins while doing fun things.
• Matt's Siblings
• I am so thankful that Ryne has two sets of aunts and uncles that love him so much!  Both have helped out by babysitting and they brought food to the hospital when Ryne had just been born.
• I am so thankful that Scott and Taylor live so close.  They have helped us out so much with Ryne whether it was taking Ryne to the doctor when he would just scream in his car seat or helping me clean the house among many other things.  Being a stay at home mom can be lonely at times and having Taylor around to hang out or run errands with is so nice.  Looking forward to when she is an official Drummond.  
• Amazing Friends of 11 years
• Becca, Diane, and Kim have been my best friends since freshman year of high school.  We don't talk very often anymore, but we always make time for each other when important events happen in each other's lives.  We also are just a phone call away when one of us is in need.  I love these girls very much and look so forward to seeing them this weekend.  We are family. Period.
• My job
• I love being a respiratory therapist.  I love caring for ill people and making a difference in their care.  My job at Community North allows me to have a very flexible schedule and work when it is convenient for me.  I can work in 4 hour intervals which is wonderful during the week.  I usual work one 4 hour shift a week which brings in a little extra money, gives me a chance to use my RT skills, and gives me a break from the stay at home mom grind.  
• The ability to stay home with Ryne
• I love staying home and caring for Ryne.  It is a luxury that many people don't have that I know is very special.  Ryne will only be little for so long.  It is going by so fast already.  I feel so lucky to have the chance to spend everyday all day (expect those 4 hours at work or an occasional outing) with him.   Staying home isn't always perfect.  Sometimes I wish we still had my full time income.  I also sometimes wonder if he would get more structure and have more social interaction if he was in day care, but I feel that the pros absolutely out way the cons.
• Kindermusik and the Library
• Ryne and I have kindermusik class on Mondays(thanks Tammy and Hugh), story time on Tuesdays, and baby love on Thursdays.  This gives Ryne a chance to socialize and he seems to be getting an appreciation for music.  It also gives me a chance to socialize and get out of the house.  I love this routine and am so thankful for it.  
• Dexter
• Dexter has been a wonderful dog for us the past 3+ years.  He is a great cuddler and is always up for a game of fetch.  I love my boo boo.
• Last but not least all of my extended family
• This includes everyone from my second cousins to my great aunts.  There's not a bad one in the bunch.  Special shout out to Ryne's great grandparents and great aunts and uncles.  They have all shown such love to Ryne and us.

Here is a cute picture of my baby to lighten the mood